I went to DC this past weekend to attend the March for Women's Lives. It was rather chaotic and a bit lacking in humor (although I will give big props to the chicks who constructed a gigantic red plush uterus with Fallopian tubes and ovaries, which they held above their heads with sticks), but inspiring all the same. I dragged a college friend along, and we ended up missing most of the speeches, although we did march the entire way. It was really nice to see a lot of young womyn passionate about feminist issues and reproductive freedom, although I felt just a little bit like an imposter. I self-identified as pro-life as recently as three years ago, and although I'm now technically pro-choice, it still makes me shudder to read a sign like "I love abortion." I did not join in the chants. When the pro-choicers on the march encountered the pro-lifers along the sidelines with their photos of mutilated fetuses and religious symbols, there was an exchange of angry shouts and hurled insults, with neither side emerging as the victor, really. I wish that people could acknowledge the complexity of the issue and have rational discussions about the topic in an open public forum like this one, but instead we seem to be driven to extremes of thought. If pro-lifers want to prevent abortions, they should be active in promoting the availability of contraception and sex education, so that unwanted pregnancies could be avoided. But then, of course, most of pro-lifers are driven by religious ideology which looks down upon those things anyway. *sigh*

I realized while talking to my college friend that most of my current stories are about lost potential, and regret when thinking back on one's life. Hmmm.

Weirdly enough, he also explained to me that he has never yelled at anyone in his entire life. He has never even raised his voice. Or gotten angry. When someone hurts him, he only gets sad, and then quietly withdraws. I was flabbergasted that such a thing could be possible, but apparently this was normal for him, considering his upbringing. He explained that he would not know what to do, or how to react, if someone yelled at him. And that he is turned off by "volatility" when considering a romance with someone. I'm quite a controlled person too, and usually reign in overt displays of emotion...but I like being with someone who sparks the emotion contained within me, who pushes me to lose control. I think this is probably associated with my idealization of the Romantics. I just love crazy indulgent swoony melodrama. I love when voices are raised and tears are spilled and hands are thrown about in the air. It's life, you know? We're not automatons, we're freaky childish destructive creatures who barely know what to do with the feelings that kick us from the inside, ready to be born, to see light, to make themselves known to the world. Stoicism, and maturity, are overrated. But then, that's the adolescent in me talking.